I am an open book and as such choose to reflect my openness in fun guessing challenges. I challenge people to get to know me, since I barely know myself anyways this works best. People generally don’t trust me, saying I don’t talk much indicating my river is probably very deep. Actually it isn’t deep, it just looks deep, I’m actually a little simpler than most people would reason. I just don’t reveal all at the beginning, that’s boring, storytelling is much more better.
People feel more comfortable when they can trust you. To gain trust, a person’s own dedication correlates with the other person’s principle causes then the trust slowly develops and solidifies. Just because you trust them with certain things doesn’t mean the other person might trust you that much and for those exact things. People range the trust over certain possessions and parts of their life, with the situation and the person.
On top of that, a lot of people don’t generally work for trust it usually develops over time, as the person gets to know you. People may work to get trust for personal reasons to gain benefits from such trust later. It can be anything from gaining access with that person’s network, access to a place, new responsibility to prove your competence in order to gain more trust or reward etc.
Working for trust usually occurs in business related settings, but it happens in personal settings also. Naturally it is frowned upon in personal settings and cautiously allowed in business settings. It should be noted I didn’t say anything about the other person trying to gain the trust in that aspect. They might not want to involve themselves with certain aspects of your life, trusting you to stand with them, but not taking it further than that. This is common and perfectly fine under professional settings.
I think this is where people misunderstand trust and loyalty. Because if someone breaks trust between you and them, it doesn’t mean they can never be trusted again by anyone else, it just means that person at that point in time considered your trust unimportant, your trust might be comparable and similar to others but it’s not universal. People don’t change at the core but can change their behavior, circumstances and decisions.
It shouldn’t be surprising that two persons can trust each other perfectly with almost everything and best of friends. But if it comes to you and either of these two people, that might be difficult. Well let’s call them person A and person B for this example, you are good friends with person A and let’s say a friendly acquaintance of person B.
Person A are friends, you generally like each other, person A trusts you a lot but you don’t, as person A talks too much to too many people. On top of that, they work at your workplace, since you prefer your life not being turned into a theater, especially at work. Your distrust is reasonable as you have been friends with this person and decided you don’t want the relationship to go down that road.
Let’s say Person B knows you well, knows certain secrets about you (that haven’t come to light yet?) even the family too. But doesn’t like you for some reason, just in the way they talk and act towards you, they pretend friendship for the sake of decency, but you know better. You don’t know exactly what it is though, could be how you dress, a certain part of your personality, things you have done. You could always ask directly and break the charade but would person B be brave (or mischievous?) enough to tell how they really feel about you and why? Could they trust you to handle such a fact?
Person A actively works for trust for the sole purpose of gaining more information from their trustees, exercising their contacts to gain snoop and benefit from said snoop. So Person A is overly friendly and always there for their friends. Person A considers Person B and you a mystery because you’re both quiet, curiosity drives person A to actively seek more trust from you.
Person B doesn’t actively work for trust, doesn’t care really about most of the stuff he knows or much of the trust he has gained. He exercises it moderately based on needs and wants at the time. Person B has no problem with person A’s snooping personality as they are find it amusing mostly. Person B likes person A for their openness, friendliness, warmth and frankness. Person B likes and respects you but has a jaded and obvious problem with you over something.
By such rationale, I consider trust a fickle thing, which goes with time and the circumstances and just because you may never trust someone with certain things doesn’t mean you can’t be friends; regardless I believe we can all find someone to confide in about something in our life. Whether past, present or future.