The Full Me

i-love-me-wallpaperI have been called and told many descriptions of the type of person I seem like to people. Here’s a list of the most common:

  • “I’m a good person”
  • “A good man”
  • “Nice guy”
  • “Hardworking”
  • “Chill brother”
  • “Quiet person”
  • “Reliable man”

These descriptions come from my surface personality; essentially the most active and recognizable parts of my personality traits. To be honest, my recessive traits are the parts of me that edge against the type of person I want to be, some of them I threw into the back-burner a long time, because they scare me and I don’t want to be that person.

When people see these various sides of me, this is just some of the more common statements about me:

  • “You mad man”
  • “You know you have no manners”
  • “You are full of yourself”
  • “Your thinking makes no sense”
  • “You’re not talking sense”
  • “You have an illogical and twisted mentality”
  • “You don’t understand how life works, brother”

Unlike active traits which are majorly trumpeted throughout most of your actions in life, recessive traits are secondary to active traits and only occasionally recognizable and active in special situations. There are times I wonder if maybe the traits I hate the most are the real me. That doesn’t make me feel very wholesome, but thinking about it maybe it’s not the real version of myself but the full version of myself.

It’s like knowing your lazy enough to sleep out the whole day but also hardworking when work needs to be done. Humble enough to take criticism, lost and insult with grace, but confident in the fight, your beliefs and your personal integrity.

I suppose these traits balance out each other; I have always considered myself a neutralist, never into one extreme, always on the borderline analyzing both sides of the divide. Whereas the real me is the version you see in that particular moment, that’s the version of myself that sings to you and that’s fine hold that version of me close to you and remember it.

Because one of the traits I didn’t like in the past but began to appreciate now was my narcissism, so trust me it makes me happy knowing I affected you so deeply even if it’s negatively, oh well.

I know what I want to be and what I want people to remember me for. But I know as well as anyone that the whole me keeps my active traits that are so valued by society in check. I can’t be a slave to how society and other people want me to behave and become. I won’t because that’s not what I want to be.

The Full Me

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