Mending My Ways

dreamstime_107185032I have done much harm to people in my life like every other soul on this planet. Whether emotional, physical or mental hurting the people around us is usually unavoidable. I am a nice guy by most people’s standards, kind to a fault and yet I cause so much pain. The worst part is that it’s not random people but the people closest to me whom feel the hell that is me.

Most if not all of us have reached that stage where we feel like what we did went too far. In some situations an apology or some form of reparation might be required. Mending the relationship forward is very possible but the fact remains the memory still remains.

I sometimes make choices that cause harm, I try to control myself from causing harm to people on purpose but I am a human. When I can’t predict the effect of the choice and harm is cause, sometimes I wish the choice could be taken back. Sometimes I reason it’s for the best and deal with the consequences accordingly.

The typical society’s rules and ethics drum into us to not be a jackass, but be well-mannered gentleman and ladies. It is there as an ideal for us to chase every day. Society standards aren’t perfect but it has a good purpose. The question of being well-mannered to everyone has that slight tinge of “everyone” (killers, pedophiles, devil worshipers?). That’s a long reach for most people and I am not getting into rights at least not here.

In trying to suppress the bastard in me, I can appreciate myself for apologizing when necessary and changing my behavior when I realize it affects an important person to me negatively. I guess this whole rendition was me thinking back and feeling like a sorry sop. I love the people in my life and appreciate all human life so when I harm them I try my best to not repeat it, once my best is being done, I know am not evil.

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Mending My Ways

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