I am Human

I amMy name is David Shaw, I am a human born in Jamaica in 1991. I work as a Docket Clerk full-time and entrepreneur part-time. I have many skills that are undervalued even in the online market, my wage makes it hard to invest in myself, my mother doesn’t like me, my girlfriend is in deep problems, my friends are few and far apart with many problems themselves, my home life is uncomfortable and my life in general would make many lose heart and surrender. I personally think it’s relatively normal, some live worse but that doesn’t mean I want it to be better.

I am a human, money is all around me, but not on me. There are so many people with more money, resources and better platforms than me. I grind with anticipation to be them, surpass them, make the money needed to give me the comfort needed. But I was born in the middle now I’m at the base being laughed at for failing by the top men’s standards, I am 24 years old, 4 years later where will I be?

I am a human, I had to deal with this deep seated anger of mine raising in me, can’t sort out my problems so I shout at it, yes that makes me feel better. Shout some more, top of the voice, in someone’s face, yup that was great, went and made a habit of it. Did it to my family and friends, girlfriend too right, cause since I can’t solve their problems and I needed an outlet. It don’t matter if it hurts them, I just want to feel like am master over the situation even for a second, I would apologize after.

I am human, I recognized a long time I was meant for greater things and to some extent I want to change the way the world is at the core if possible. I may need to be on the top to pull that off I think, how far I can’t wager but I know the further I would go, the worse the human scum I meet. All those bastards at the top will probably friend me and suggest ideas that do more harm than good. If I don’t conform they’ll scheme and kick me into disgrace just as quickly as I rose.

I am human, but why should I endure this, why should I accept this level of crap as the best out there, they live like kings and the masses in squalor? They almost make socialism look good with its idea of wealth distribution, but wait you forget that would mean they would own most if not all public and private entities, can anyone shout too much control! So I feel like a dirty ragamuffin wanting to be god, I can’t stomach that responsibility what if I abuse it like these Political figures and world disgraces?

I am human, I am not perfect I make mistakes, do the wrong thing sometimes; my thoughts go south to some dark regions I would rather never go. The amount of times I look myself in the mirror, lose count, I wonder if I cried would it feel better? Nope boys don’t cry, I am a boy not a man. I’m not even a man by my standards but damn well I’ll try to be.

Life is a struggle and the grind entertains me. The evils of the world give me something to fight; I love to flex my muscles. My problems are numerous, but conquering the demons in me would make me king of my domain, I will not be a slave to myself. I’m just a human chasing something higher than this, I can accept the world for being what it is, but for myself I can’t yet, I am not satisfied yet until I prove this is not the limit of being human.

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I am Human

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