I used to be anti-social, well I still am to some extent one of my anti-social habits that I don’t take note of often is the fact that when I talk to people I do not look directly at them sometimes. But I must say I have grown much since my past years, I never interacted this much with people. But early on, it did prevent me from stepping up, to go for the things I needed just because I didn’t want to bother talking to the person in between me and that very thing.
I just didn’t talk to people much, I worried about what would occur, what would I say, how would I answer if they responded? That anxiety and fear crept up in me at times and made it hard for me to speak and move. It happened at a lot of principal moments in my life.
I remember times when I did nothing, I stood there and did not mobilized, for fear, I was nothing but a coward. In time, I realized I was really letting myself down. Having the pride of a dreamer made it worse.
To speak up or step out would put the limelight on me and sometimes it was uncomfortable being center stage but I had to learn to take the heat, the attention and interest that came with chasing after your desires. You cannot want or do something without the consequences of it coming to the fore. So either you make the best of them or let them crush you.
It only took constant conversation and constant interaction with peers learning from all of them. Constant stepping up and disregard of my insecurities and fear that finally made me the open person that I am today, I’m still quiet and I would prefer lonely time to hanging people but when I speak its with confidence, I am not afraid of what people think of me. Now that I think about I probably wouldn’t have started this blog in the first place if I was as anti-social as I was back. Probably would have said to myself couldn’t bother…
David Shaw is a certified nerd and scum of the earth. Jamaican by birth, he enjoys long walks and the simple things in life. He is also an entrepreneur, writer and graphic designer. You can follow his mundane madness on twitter @davidcs_aw