The sweat that I drop matters little to me, the rewards are like my own poison. There are times when I feel like I am chasing the wrong thing. Even as straight as my head is, I lose my way sometimes. Regardless I keep learning that the extravagant rewards of my usual hard work, money do not last long and never really completely satisfy a person especially me.
Why do I keep ending up working towards money you ask? Well being on the poor side of society, regardless of how much I want to help people and do great things, I need the money to help me survive this world’s system. So growing up I was driven to chase the money rather than the knowledge, the innovation and the challenge.
But I did not enjoy doing that it actually made me unhappy. I wanted more out of the effort I put in. I wanted to work towards something helpful, grand even. I work hard for everything I have, I cannot do much but I to try put in a little everyday to further reach my ultimate goal. One of the proverbs I live my life by is “every mickle makes a muckle” its origin is supposed to be Scottish. It means that If keep on putting in a little now and then (mickle) in time you will make a lot (muckle).
I am not into getting life’s splendors all at once, I am trying to be patient and more in asset value than cold hard cash. People in my life always pushing me to get more money for this and that. I get frustrated and lose sight of why I do this. Then I pull myself back when I realize I am at the edge of no return. To see myself going back and forth through this is hard to witness, cause I am really suppose to be wiser and stronger than this.
I not even going to use the “I am human” excuse, cause I should have enough control and discipline to know when something is not to many people’s benefit. When someone works towards the ultimate goal not the reward, that is when the best productivity is achieved and it feels more fulfilling. We all try to find what will give us more joy, but money doesn’t give us joy, but it can most certainly buy us something that can give us joy, if your into certain material things.
Money is a useful poison that when well handled will do what it is suppose to do. What it is not suppose to do is suffocate you. Trust me it is not a good feeling.
David Shaw is a certified nerd and scum of the earth. Jamaican by birth, he enjoys long walks and the simple things in life. He is also an entrepreneur, writer and graphic designer. You can follow his mundane madness on twitter @davidcs_aw