There will be times when you are told that there is better out there and you must leave your current relationships in their old postures to essentially move on unto better postures. It is natural for humans to want to move up in their life, some have high expectations and usually will not settle for problems that arise out of these old postures. Whether you call it chasing waterfalls, stepping up your game or moving on, everyone wants to advance and get to a better state of mind.
It makes little sense to leave your old relationships with good friends especially family behind for frivolous reasons. No matter how much it makes you feel better, the grass will look the same wherever you advance.
why do you have to leave that posture to feel like you are advancing? This is one of the things people usually miss in the grand scheme of things, the fact that you can improve your own living space or lot. To get the most of out of it you must maintain it and improve it. If you do not take care of it your living space will be become a hazard to you.
This concept applies to relationships in the same way. Take care of the relationship and the relationship will take care of you. The posture is greener where you water it. When both parties take care of the relationship, the relationship becomes stronger. This strength can easily surpass the sum of the parts and withstand much onslaught.
Through it should be noted this depends on both parties having a complete understanding and shared dedication to the union. If you are dedicating a lot of your effort while the other person dedicates little to none, then that feeling of wanting “better postures” swarms through the head. You should try to talk to the person and get them come to a compromise with you.
If the person continues to blatantly not return appreciation and worst debilitate your status in the relationship. I recommend counseling (maybe a neutral can bring some stability in the relationship) if that does not work it might be best to cut your loses, ending the pretend game and the relationship. Do that person and you a favor, just move on.
By the time you were to find a posture that suits you better, you might realize there is a significant similarity between each posture. Actually you might realize all of them are the same. So wait if all of them are the same, what difference does it make to actually leave? To be perfectly honest if I took from a large number of random women and ask them to list the top 10 problems they have with their boyfriend. When we compare those lists they would very be similar.
So it usually comes down to timing, affinity, the right mixture of good and bad, it is something deeper than the voice can explain. Like a how a man can change his ways for this one girl and never did for the others previously. So this time around he decided to water this one hence this one lasted for him and reaped fruits he liked.
One person cannot grow this garden, it takes two to make it look something more than a pile of grass, water it often and in time you will reap the fruits of your labor.
David Shaw is a certified nerd and scum of the earth. Jamaican by birth, he enjoys long walks and the simple things in life. He is also an entrepreneur, writer and graphic designer. You can follow his mundane madness on twitter @davidcs_aw