If you fool me once shame on you, if you fool me twice shame on me. The truth is, blame falls on nobody. Mistakes can have blame going multiple ways so no one thing is to blame but to some extent, each thing or person in involved had an influence. Many people tend to run away from accepting the blame when things happen, in general.
Mistakes lead to bad circumstances, where blame is distributed to the respective parties involved. One or a few person or thing(s) take up responsibility when mistakes are made. Responsibility is different from blame in that aspect. For example, the blame may not lie with you but as the supervisor of the department, you have the responsibility to accept the mistake happening under your watch.
When people get hit with bad life events caused by other people or entities that they interact with, they may either blame themselves or the people or entity. To be a victim or an antagonist, seems like a tough choice, is there any in between?
No one wants to be a victim, neither should you try to be. But being a victim and accepting your mistake is two different things. If you recognized that decisions or a pattern of behavior lead to a wrong being done to you, you should realize this, grow wiser in your actions and decision-making. Learn to limit it happening again that is the process of accepting your mistake and with effort and time it can make you stronger for it.
When you blame others and reject the event you become a victim. You sink into a cocoon and reserve yourself, saying you could not have done anything wrong. You do not change and try to, so you allow the habitual behavior and events that cause it to continue. Explaining it away instead of doing anything to deter it or avoid it.
My advice is to not hide from things that happen to you it is never a healthy mental state. Neither is being an aggressor nor hating the individual you place blame at.
Hate is a powerful emotion and not something to be wielded freely just because you want to. It also brings no benefit to you to extend, if you get angry and lash out that is fine, holding a grudge just makes you feel worse down the line.
Remember the various persons to be blamed is pointless, the effect of the event is pointless, the person who will take responsibility, pointless. What is more important is what you learned.
David Shaw is a certified nerd and scum of the earth. Jamaican by birth, he enjoys long walks and the simple things in life. He is also an entrepreneur, writer and graphic designer. You can follow his mundane madness on twitter @davidcs_aw