Money, everyone around me chases it, how far will they go depends on the situation. How much have I chased it, well I have subjected myself to the stress of starting my own business. Working freelance as a writer and graphic designer, this while I am working full-time and going to school. How far is too far?

It is funny people think I am doing too much. Actually, I am sitting here writing this, with a novel to write and another novel to ghostwrite on top of that. Yes and surprisingly I desire to do more things on top of that. The thing is I am anxious to be successful.

This slow pace has me more stressful than if I was making no money at all. Sometimes I worry that I might get rich and still not be relieved as I will have to make sure I stay rich which I hear is not easy.

This anxiety causes me to think of many ridiculous ideas and schemes that after much thought I would throw into the garbage. Maybe I am throwing away a good thing but that does not mean it is good for me. Then there is the option of doing something illegal.

To be honest illegal money is not easy as you will have to avoid police, other competitors in your illegal trade who will kill you to cut out the competition (permanently). There is nothing easy about it.

Still, I want my success to be that fast, based on the merit of the work I have done. Maybe I should work more. Maybe I should do something different, yes maybe that. Well, I have been doing this mostly alone, actually, I do not ask for help much.

When I do I get middle fingers and “NO” (Demi Lovato style). So I am cautious when begging anyone because people love to demean you for asking. So I just do not bother, better to do everything myself and take all the credit.

Even then much work has to be put in to get the success many of us are looking for. Especially, for me, since I am doing a whole small company worth of work (five people at least).

Ask any of the successful entrepreneurs before me. They would sweat no pay for months if not years to make their first dreams succeed. But I am determined and will see it through it would be a waste to go this far for this long.

Just to say “I cannot bother” and go play video games like a soap opera child. No, that is not me, I want to be different, an example. Begging for bread that is not me, taking bread that is also not me. Making my bread yes that is me, when you buy it you will love it.

David Shaw is a certified nerd and scum of the earth. Jamaican by birth, he enjoys long walks and the simple things in life. He is also an entrepreneur, writer and graphic designer. Check out his work on his website or follow his mundane madness on twitter @davidcs_aw, google, Pinterest


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