Being privy to the hard truths of life, I sometimes get anxiety and fear about my future in this world. Let us be real about it, wealth is hard to come by, violence increases, hate spreads, stupidity is praised not shunned and my hard work has not changed my poor status much either. It becomes so easy to feel worthless and slip into despair.
Yet I cannot, to despair is to stop, surrender, give up essentially. They say life is a fight, well my bruises can agree with that. Sometimes I wish it was easy, then I remember everyone (6 billion more people other than me) want the same thing.
Not everyone can get what they want. Only the best of the best, but the journey to that greatness is never easy I am told.
Outside of this people lose sight of what it is like to work towards the good of themselves in competitive harmony. Where people prefer low kicking, screwing, cheating or destroying you to get ahead and win.
That might be me they would screw at some point just to get ahead of me just to win what I am striving for.
After all there can only be one winner and I have proven myself not as skillful or as strong as these winners. Only one option remains to get stronger and more skillful. Everyday this Is my goal, everyday this is what I do. Write, design, learn, everyday I do it. Maybe I will not become the greatest but I sure as hell will chase it.
Let me explain how it is for me. The feeling of worthlessness at each lost just hurts, the pain nags at me like a bad parent or a tough man telling me I am not good enough and never will be.
You must not know me…
Give up, nope do not know the meaning….
Retreat sure, but when I return I am going to kick your behind from here to heaven….
Afraid I am of losing but I cannot let this fear hold me back, I know I can achieve greatness I just have to keep going. I will be back and better than ever, trust me on this.
David Shaw is a certified nerd and scum of the earth. Jamaican by birth, he enjoys long walks and the simple things in life. He is also an entrepreneur, writer and graphic designer. Check out his work on his website or follow his mundane madness on twitter @davidcs_aw, google, pinterest